This is a lesson I am constantly learning (and learning and learning again, haha). And it is one I’m sure I will continue to learn because this is truly the work of our lives. This lesson right here.

You are the love you have been looking for. 

We all go through life searching for something. Each and every one of us at one or many points throughout our lives feels a dull, unrelenting ache deep inside, a yearning for something we can’t quite define. Because we don’t know what it is we’re searching for, we look to our external circumstances —- a job, a relationship or material things —- to fill us up, to hep fill the void. And while we search we do everything we can to try to numb that dull, aching feeling. We numb it out with food or alcohol, by working too hard or any number of other things until finally we get the job, the relationship or the thing we think we’ve been searching for and we latch on tightly. Then, for a brief period everything is wonderful. The stars seem to align and all is right with the world. But the feeling is always fleeting. IF we are relying solely on that outside circumstance, person or thing to fill us up, that is.

Ugh. Why can’t the wonderful feeling just last? (Totally frustrating, I know.) Because what we’re searching for in reality isn’t the job or the relationship or any material item. It’s love. And the only love we are truly ever searching for (and the only love that will truly ever make us happy) comes from within. End of story.

So why are we so fixated on searching for love outside of ourselves? Because of this little thing called an ego. A Course in Miracles teaches us that the basic goal of the spiritual ego is “Seek and do not find.” Our egos are fiercely committed to preventing us from finding the love within. The job, the relationship, the material things you think you need —- they’re all distractions that keep us walking in circles, searching aimlessly for the love that’s been right inside of us all along. That is not to say you can’t or shouldn’t want a fulfilling job, an amazing relationship, killer shoes or whatever. YES! Absolutely you can and should have all of those things and more. The problem comes when we attempt to use them as a replacement for the love within. That never works.

When we remember to first connect to the love within, we have an expanded capacity to feel and experience all of the beauty and magic that life has to offer. In fact, we can actually enjoy our relationships, our jobs and our material possessions even more. We can release our grip on our partner, for example, and appreciate him or her for who they truly are because we are no longer dependent on them to fill a void or bring us love. We are no longer relying on anyone or anything to make us whole. We simply already are. We literally change the landscape of our outer lives to reflect that love within.

So how do we connect to that love? It starts with a simple awareness, a willingness to recognize that you are the love you have been looking for and you have the power to choose. From there, it’s a constant practice and a commitment. It’s trial and error. You will make mistakes, and that’s ok. As I mentioned before, I am constantly re-learning this lesson. If you recognize that you’re siding with your ego rather than love, go easy on yourself. Be gentle and compassionate. You can always choose again. But never forget that it is your choice.

xoxo

Kristi